Why Is He Female?
by doy.doy
Summary: All throughout Seireitei, everyone was asking themselves the same question: Why was the sixth division captain taking the form of a little girl?


**GAH fanfiction . net is being weird! My time breaks (the three dashes that I use between scenes) are all gone now! I REALLY don't wanna go through all of my fanfics and replace them with something else...  


* * *

**Byakuya stared in his mirror in horror.

_**Flashback**_

_Byakuya was working on his usual paperwork until he heard a knock on his door. "Come in," he said._

_In came Mayuri, holding a cup of... liquid. "Kuchiki-taichou," said Mayuri, smiling. "Please try this new tea I created."_

_Byakuya frowned. "What is in it?" he asked._

_"Oh, just a little of this, a little of that." Mayuri continued to smile._

_"I refuse."_

_"But Kuchiki-taichou, Yamamoto-soutaichou also wishes for you to try it."_

_"...you're lying."_

_Mayuri smiled. "Prove it."_

_Byakuya stayed silent for a moment before starting to speak again. "...get my fukutaichou to drink it."_

_Mayuri shook his head. "No, no, Yamamoto-soutaichou said that it must be you."_

_Byakuya stayed silent for a moment, then spoke. "...why must I be the one to drink it?"_

_Mayuri's smile widened. "Who knows."_

_Byakuya sighed. "Fine, let me taste this drink of yours, if it is really an order from Yamamoto-soutaichou." Byakuya took the tea and drank it. It tasted bitter. He was about to comment about it, but Mayuri was already gone._

_**End Flashback**_

"What... have I done to turn Yamamoto-soutaichou against me?" muttered Byakuya.

oOoOoOoOo

Somewhere in the 11th squad's area...

"Eh? A Hell Butterfly?" asked Yachiru to herself.

"Kusajishi-fukutaichou..." said Byakuya's voice hesitantly from the Hell Butterfly. His voice was much higher than usual. "Is it possible that you could bring me a duplicate of your shinigami robes? Please deliver it to my manor as soon as possible."

Yachiru looked shocked. "Byakushi's voice is so high!" She tilted her head in confusion. "Why does he want my shinigami robes?"

She brushed it off, and proceeded to find another one of her robes.

Half an hour later, Yachiru arrived at the Kuchiki manor. "Bya-kun! I have the robes!" she said at the door.

"Leave them right in front of the door," said Byakuya, in his high-pitched voice.

"Eh? Why?"

"Please, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, just do it."

Yachiru did so, although reluctantly. Then she watched the door open a bit, and saw a small hand grab the robes. She waited a bit more, and finally, Byakuya came out. He gulped inwardly in shock. "K-Kusajishi-fukutaichou..." he said in horror. Somehow, he had thought that she had already left without question.

With that, Yachiru burst out laughing.

oOoOoOoOo

Byakuya found himself sitting in his office once more, doing paperwork. His scarf kept getting in the way, due to the fact that it was now much too big on him. Then his office door burst open. "I'm sorry I'm late, taichou!" said Renji. "I woke up a bit late, and the-" He cut himself off once he took notice of Byakuya. He tried to hold in his laughter, but he failed miserably.

Byakuya twitched at this. "Please start working on the paperwork," he said simply.

Renji giggled at his captain's high voice, then proceeded to follow his orders.

oOoOoOoOo

After around an hour or so, Byakuya's window burst open. "Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter," said Nemu, while taking pictures of the 6th division taichou.

"Nemu-san, I already said before that it's 'cheese'!" whispered Isane.

Byakuya's eye twitched. _'Again?'_ he thought.

"Now RUN FOR IT!" yelled Isane, dragging Nemu through Byakuya's window.

Byakuya snapped his fingers, causing his purple ninjas to pin down Isane and Nemu.

Isane wailed. "I'm sorry, Kuchiki-taichou! Yachiru-chan just told Nemu-san and me what happened to you and because she's the president of the Shinigami's Women's Association she told us to take photos!"

Nemu just sat there as emotionless as usual. She mumbled a few things, with Byakuya picking up words such as 'Mayuri-sama', 'experiment' and 'tea'.

Byakuya sighed. "Scatter..."

Isane gulped, and soon a scream was heard throughout all Seireitei.

oOoOoOoOo

While trying to ignore the giggles and stares nearby, Byakuya took his finished paperwork and proceeded to go to the 10th division's area. He entered Toshiro Hitsugaya's office, and handed the paperwork to said person. "Please take a look at it," he said curtly.

Toshiro looked up from his desk and at Byakuya and froze. "You're... shorter than me."

Indeed, Toshiro was only able to see the top of Byakuya's head from his desk. A drunk Matsumoto who just happened to be nearby giggled. "Bya-chan, you look so cute!" she squealed, and proceeded to hug the stoic captain. Luckily for Byakuya, he was able to dodge it.

"Please, never call me 'Bya-chan' ever again."

oOoOoOoOo

Shortly after returning back to his office, Byakuya heard a knock on his office door. "Come in," he said.

There entered Rukia. "Nii-sama, Ukitake-taichou ordered me to deliver some paperwork from our squad and-" She froze the moment she saw Byakuya, and dropped all of the paper she was holding in the process. Seeing her brother so much... smaller than her caused Rukia to have a sudden mental image of him wearing a bunny suit. This entertained her greatly, which caused her to giggle.

"Rukia," said Byakuya. "Please leave, and take my fukutaichou with you, for the sake of my sanity."

Rukia glanced over to the back of the office and saw Renji there, who was still giggling a little bit. "Of course... nii-sama," replied Rukia, although she found the title 'nii-sama' now unfitting for Byakuya. With that, she and Renji left the room.

oOoOoOoOo

Byakuya went back to work on his paperwork, only to be interrupted by Yachiru bursting in through the office door. "Bya-kun!" she said happily as she glomped him. "You're my size now!"

"Please get off of me, Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

"And you're wearing my robes, too!"

Byakuya cleared his throat. "Please, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, get off of me."

Yachiru looked sad. "But why? Now I have someone I can play with who finally isn't bigger than me!"

Byakuya sighed. Then he looked outside his office doorway, only to see a certain Kenpachi Zaraki smiling creepily. _'...that can't be good.'_

oOoOoOoOo

Byakuya quickly made his way to the 12th division area (and earned some stares along the way). He looked through the area, and eventually found Mayuri sitting in his office. "Kurotsuchi-taichou," he said.

Mayuri turned to Byakuya and smiled at his high-pitched voice. "Yes, Kuchiki-taichou?"

"...why was I ordered to drink tea that made me turn into a little girl the next day?"

Mayuri smiled. "Who knows."

* * *

**...Mayuri's creepy. xD**


End file.
